I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
