OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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