Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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