my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
