nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
