p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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