Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
