remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
