I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
