Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
