My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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