He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
