I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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