She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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