what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
