maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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