Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
