Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
