it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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