I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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