dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
