it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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