I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
