someone threw a dead crab at me
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
