We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
