dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
