none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
