Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
