OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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