It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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