Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
soo... how was my night?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
