Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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