hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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