Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
