i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
