Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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