You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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