He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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