bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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