oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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