I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
