is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
