I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just want nice things and good sex
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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