WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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