shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy