OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.