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Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
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