dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize