i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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