my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
