Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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