Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
