as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
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This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.