you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.