they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize