giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
