I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
