Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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