I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
